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Showing posts with the label Divorce

Divorce Recovery & the 5 Steps to Your Next Long-Term Relationship: Step 4-A Committed Relationship

For a relationship to culminate in a successful long-term, committed union, a five-step relationship-building process must be acknowledged, understood, and traversed. The Five Required Steps to a Long-Term Relationship The path from initial introduction to a long-term committed relationship goes through five separate stages of relationship: (1) Step 1: The Transition Relationship, (2) Step 2: The Recreational Relationship, (3) Step 3: The Pre-Committed Relationship, (4) Step 4: The Committed Relationship, and (5) Step 5: The Marital Relationship. (For a discussion of recreational, pre-committed, and committed relationships, see David Steele, Conscious Dating , (Campbell, CA, RCN Press, 2008)). This article addresses the fourth step in the relationship-building process, Step 4: The Committed Relationship. The Committed Relationship Is the Time for Both Partners to Pull Together The previously completed recreational and pre-committed stages targeted the individual’s chemistry and ...

Divorce Recovery Mindset Choice No. 4: Is Your Divorce A Past Life Event or a Current Way of Life?

Signs that Your Ex is Still a Presence in Your Life When asked about their divorce, practically everyone says, “I’ve moved on” – and then they proceed to talk about what a jerk their ex was. Then they may make “harmless” comments about the “questionable character” of the person the ex is dating. Often the “if only’s” give it away: If only my ex had done this, or if only he or she hadn’t done that, my life would be better. And then there is “The Wedding.” Not your ex’s wedding; not your wedding. Your child’s wedding! And the nightmare-inspiring fear that you will have to miss it. Why? Because your ex will be there! All these are indications that your divorce is still an integral part of your present life. They mean you may not have “moved on” as much as you would like to believe. In fact, you could be treating your divorce as a part of your ongoing way of life. Remember: If you are...

Divorce Recovery & the 5 Steps to Your Next Long-Term Relationship: Step 5-The Marital Relationship

For a relationship to culminate in a successful long-term, committed union, a five-step relationship-building process must be acknowledged, understood, and completed. The Five Required Steps to a Long-Term Relationship The path to an ultimate, new long-term committed relationship traverses five separate steps in relationship building: (1) Step 1: The Transition Relationship, (2) Step 2: The Recreational Relationship, (3) Step 3: The Pre-Committed Relationship, (4) Step 4: The Committed Relationship, and (5) Step 5: The Marital Relationship. (For a discussion of recreational, pre-committed, and committed relationships, see David Steele, Conscious Dating , (Campbell, CA, RCN Press, 2008). This article addresses the fifth and final step in the relationship-building process, Step 5: The Marital Relationship. The Marital Relationship Is the Time for Change ! What?! Isn’t this the time when things settle down and you can finally relax and enjoy some stability? Well, yes and no. True, yo...

Dissipation Claims in Illinois Divorce Cases

In determining how to divide property in Illinois divorce cases, judges are directed by 750 ILCS 5/503(d), which sets forth a number of factors that affect how marital property may be distributed. The second of these factors that the Court may consider is the dissipation of marital assets by either party. “Dissipation” has been defined by Illinois appellate courts as the use of marital property for the sole benefit of one of the spouses for a purpose unrelated to the marriage at a time that the marriage is undergoing an irreconcilable breakdown. One common form of dissipation is spending marital assets on a new girlfriend or boyfriend while still married. In the past, dissipation claims in Illinois were often used as a form of leverage to gain a more favorable settlement agreement. As a divorce case came to trial many divorce attorneys would present various claims of dissipation as a method of increasing their claims to the marital estate. This form of litigation had the eff...